“There’s a secret that real writers know that wannabe writers don’t, and the secret is this: It’s not the writing part that’s hard. What’s hard is sitting down to write. What keeps us from sitting down is Resistance” – Steven Pressfield
I distract myself. A security camera in my house would reveal the actions of a lunatic. The actions of a first class procrastinator: In the morning I decide I need to do better. One of the many things that I think I need to do more is tidying up. So, I think I am clever when I set my alarm for 20 minutes and the do a sweep in the living room and in the bedroom. Anything will do, just putting things aside. When the alarm goes off, I finish what I am doing and stop tidying.
Then I set about completing a small list of small actions, that I put together the night before. Mostly communication stuff, like answering a question about an upcoming school meeting and checking that I signed up for having wood chips chopped in the coming week. In the middle of doing my small action item list, I suddenly feel the need to find a good podcasting app for my phone, so I google it and quickly find a recommended app, that I purchase and install on my phone. I then go back to my list.
Sadly, the next item is one that I hold resistance to. I told myself, the next move for me towards getting a job was having a career consultation with my union (a free service, they offer). But I am sure this will have me crying. It is my most sore spot. Will crying be so bad, then? Will I not possibly still get some new idea or perspective that will define my next step? Probably. But I still resist it. And I don’t overcome this hurdle today.
Instead, I move on to my next and final item on my tiny to do list, which it actually not a to-do item but rather a fluffy do-some-of-this-today. It is writing. Moving on to “writing” does not, however, consist in actually writing words, not on my computer neither in a notepad or anywhere else. I read about writing on a favorite blog of mine. Then I go down the rabbit hole a read about how the blogger started blogging and how to find your passion and building a career from that. And then I look for a beautiful WordPress theme that I can use for my website. And then I try to find an acceptable free WordPress theme. And then I squirm about deciding on a domain name.
I have lunch and go for a walk in the beautiful fall sunshine. But I tell myself, this is a kind of procrastination as well – if I were to go outside, which is a great idea, at least I should be productive and handle a practical task, like cutting the large bush in my garden, that I want to be chopped for chips. If I don’t do it in time, I will have missed my window of opportunity for the next half year. So I make it a short walk and turn around to go home. Thinking of a new search term for my WordPress theme research I type it into the browser on my phone on the way back. Back home I want to finish this line of searching. after about 10 minutes I get up from the computer, dismiss the perceived need to change into gardening clothes and simply get up at grab the chopping saw from the garden shed and start cutting down the bush. I do a little, then stop. Maybe it will be too much, maybe my husband would like to keep one of the last tall plants in our garden – and maybe the branches I cut down will be enough to make room for our new shed?
Now is the time for writing. I go to my living room and discover the perfect writing spot. From there, I have the perfect view of the windows and good lighting. I move a small table over there and a chair. I go to the kitchen to make coffee. I search for something too snack-like or sweet to eat but finding nothing I just put a frozen bread roll in the oven. I then grab the coffee and go to write.
Now, I actually write.
I love writing.
Suddenly I remember – I forgot I had something in the oven! Now, the bread roll has a dark brown and very thick crust. Most of it is edible, though. I eat it while writing some more.
I love writing.